Stop Wasting Your Energy: Pick Fights Worth Having

Most people fight the wrong battles. Here’s how to choose the right ones.

Do you feel like you're constantly battling through life and that every task, goal, or relationship is a struggle?

I’ve been there.

As a coach and someone who spent decades navigating the corporate maze, I’ve learned something vital:

Not every fight is worth the energy, but the right ones can transform your life.

Let me tell you a story.

A few years back, I found myself at a crossroads. My career was steady, even successful by most standards, but something felt off.

I was stuck in battles that didn’t matter—micromanaging tasks, defending decisions no one else cared about, and chasing goals that weren’t even mine.

One day, a mentor told me, “Warren, you’ve got to pick fights worth having.”

That line hit me like a freight train.

So, what does that mean? And how do you figure out which fights are worth it?

When you’re fighting the wrong fight

Picture this: You’re arguing with a friend about whose turn it is to choose the movie, or stressing over crafting the perfect Instagram post for three likes, or burning hours trying to impress a boss who doesn’t notice.

These are the “low ROI” (return on investment) fights. They’re the ones that drain your energy, leave you feeling empty, and move the needle exactly zero.

I see this all the time in management and coaching. People are locked in battles that feel urgent but mean nothing in the grand scheme.

It’s like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Sure, you’re busy, but you’re still sinking.

Here’s the catch: It’s not just about avoiding petty battles. It’s about understanding that some struggles, while painful, are essential for growth.

Why some fights matter

The fights worth having are the ones that challenge you, push you to grow, or protect something important.

Think of the moments that define who you are — a tough conversation with a partner, standing up for a value at work or committing to a personal goal even when it’s hard.

These fights demand courage, resilience, and grit.

When I decided to pivot into the digital space (for a second time) after years in corporate leadership, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy — and it hasn’t been. I’ve faced doubts, skepticism, and a steeper learning curve than I expected.

But I know this is a fight worth having.

Why? Because it aligns with my values: freedom, growth, and helping others.

How to choose your battles